Monday, July 17, 2006

At the Feeding Trough

Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.
Ps. 37:4-5
The words of this psalm mean so much to me today. For the past several weeks, and last week in particular, I have been unable to focus on much. My church has been experiencing a crisis that ultimately came to a head last night. Without going into details I can say that this circumstance drove most of us to our knees in humbleness. Ultimately, God heard our prayers and the situation was resolved. There are still many fences that need mending, and I doubt most of us will be the same. But, as Joseph said to his brothers, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done..."
What this situation has taught me far exceeds the pain of the difficulty. I've learned I don't pray enough; that I'm not humble enough; that I'm too proud; and that God requires much of me if I am to be blessed with writing success. This isn't about me. It's all about Him.
I thought this morning with the crisis behind me, I would wake up and, after time in prayer and thanksgiving, I would bound to my writing desk (which doubles as my dining room table) and the words would poor forth from my fingertips. So far that hasn't happened. It's taking a while to get my writing legs (or fingers) back. I've needed to sit here and resonate, enjoy the sweet blessing of answered prayer, and work myself toward the effort of getting back in the story again. I know what I need to do to make this story start the right way and I've worked up new plot twists that need to be added, but still I can't seem to get myself in gear toward that end.
Ps. 37 says just before the words written above, "Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness." That's where I am right now. Feeding on His faithfulness. Ps. 81:10 says, "I am the LORD your God....Open your mouth wide and I will fill it." Once filled I will be able to spew forth words once more. For now I'm sitting right here at the feeding trough of God's faithfulness.

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