As a Christian who writes fiction, it is always my prayer that my stories will touch my readers' hearts in ways that will change their lives spiritually. That they might be able to see themselves in my characters and their experiences and apply the lessons to their own lives in positive ways. Today I found yet another purpose for my writing. To help myself through my own walk with the Lord.
A specific issue I have been struggling with a long time raised its ugly head again this weekend. Yesterday I prayed in earnest to God asking why and it suddenly hit me. I'm struggling with much the same thing as Linnea, the main character in Daughters of Justice. Forgiving myself for something God has already forgiven me. My sin isn't the same as Linnea's but that doesn't matter. What matters is the lesson learned.
I sat here at the computer some time ago writing the dialogue between Linnea and her friend Wes. God helped me put words into their mouths at the time, but little did I know that weeks later I would read those same words again through different eyes. As a reader and not the author.
This morning I opened Chapter 34 of my manuscript and read how God has forgiven me because years ago I came to Him with a repentant heart. I can't keep beating myself over the head for sin that has been confessed and forgiven. God sees me now as forgiven, my sin forgotten, and I need to see myself the same way. Not unworthy of His blessings because I haven't been able to forgive myself.
I still don't know what God has in mind for this novel. A publishing contract is what I'm praying for...but already the story has had its purpose fulfilled in my life. Meanwhile I will continue to work and to hone and to pray for God to bless it in ways I can only imagine. Because he is a God of miracles!